"Stealing Awwwards layouts and calling it my creative vision."

"Knowing 1% of the languages but calling myself a Senior Expert."

"Using flashy animations to hide my lack of design skills."

"Building products nobody asked for and charging them monthly for it."

"Letting robots do my job while I take the credit and the paycheck."

"Clients don't trust me, so they manage the content themselves."

"My secret ace to squeeze extra money from clients."

"See exactly how many people looked at the shit I made."

"Collecting money here so you can afford to pay me later."

"Automating everything so you don't have to deal with me anymore."

"Chasing 100/100 Lighthouse scores to impress zero actual customers."

"Using Google Translate to offend clients in 14 different languages."

"Charging a monthly retainer just to click 'Update Plugins' weekly."